Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Banmans: Five Kids And Counting

I watched an episode of the Duggars last night.
They have 19 children.
I am amazed at how happy, sweet, smart and loving their kids are.
And how calm the mom is!

We also watched The Sound of Music this weekend.
Seven children!  
Wow, that always seemed like so many.

 We were at the airport today picking up Mike and I noticed that a handful of the rest of the people waiting for their loved ones were watching my children with curiosity.  Seems like when we leave the house and are around strangers this happens frequently.

Then they look at my pregnant belly.
Then they count the kids up.
Then, if they are really bold, and you'd be surprised how many ARE that bold, they come up and ask
"are they all yours???" 
My kids position themselves in order without being asked or prompted because they know the routine.
"Yes, they are all mine"
Then the stranger wants to know their ages...
(turning to kids already in line) "11,9,6,4,2"
"And one more!  you must be so busy"
"And another on the way, wow you are so brave"





Not at all.

Many times I am afraid;
afraid the quantities of food I need to prepare will keep growing as they do
afraid I will never pee alone
afraid the missing sock basket will soon be a closet
afraid to forget to do my tooth fairy duty *again*
afraid someone will slip through the cracks and feel unloved or unnoticed
afraid to pay for just about anything x's 6
afraid to raise selfish kids
afraid to realize one day that they are all gone
afraid of the orthodontist's bill
afraid to let them drive
afraid to let them date
afraid they might find me annoying
afraid I might lose my temper *again*
afraid when the girls reach my size they might wreck/lose my clothes/shoes
afraid when the girls reach my size they won't think my stuff is cool enough to wear
afraid what might happen if they question their faith
afraid of spiders and accidentally eating a cookie with nuts- gross!
afraid I will regret wasting time on Facebook that could have been spent with them
afraid of who I will be when raising kids is done
afraid they will blame everything unlovely about themselves on me one day...

...and it might be true.

Brave is not a word I would use to classify myself.
{unless we are talking about childbirth}
But my fears are not something that I focus on.  

I am resting in the peace that my Saviour chose me to raise these babies, they are His children. 
 I believe that through His grace I am equipped to nurture and guide and love them exactly how they need to be!
{He even left me an instruction manuel}
I do not think I live up to this potential on a daily basis and that is so frustrating!!

But I am going to keep trying to.
So can you!
A mother with one child has all the same joys, responsibility, and high calling as one with 5 or 7 or 19 kids.

 What you put into it is going to determine what you and your children and their children will receive in the future.  What is more immediate than that?  What is more important?

I can't think of anything.

Mommies, stand up!
Take control of your time and your amazing opportunity to be brave and raise awesome kids!!

Embrace the "busy" years.
Have another baby if you want one!

You won't regret it!!

**Disclaimer:  I am not in any way suggesting that I would like to or am planning to have 19 or even 7 children.  I am quite happy with the soon to be 6 that we have been blessed with.  It's a nice even number and we can all fit in our vehicle.  But I admire the women who have LOTS of children and do it well :)

**Also:  I find it funny that I look at the Von Trapp family as having sooo many kids because we are very close to them in numbers!! Especially funny because I knew myself back when I was certain that I wanted 0 kids!!

**On another note:  I dreamt last night that this baby came out as triplets and yikes, that was certainly NOT my plan!!!  My biggest struggle when I found out there were three?  C names or M names or a mixture??


Jenny said...

Colleen, I think when people stare at you in public you should look at it as a compliment... your family is so big and beautiful and bursting with energy that it is hard not to stare. I cant wait to see your amazing pics with a new little one!

Nancy said...

You are also a gifted writer, Colleen! (along with all of your other "gifts/talents"). I enjoyed this blog so much smiling throughout as it is truely descriptive of ""us mom's" no matter who we are!
Blessings to you and your family and our prayers for the safe arrival of #6!

Bev said...

Sweetie, I don't know how to tell you just how special it is for me to watch you become such an incredible Mother! Your willingness to let God guide you while you freely share your vulnerabilities is what makes you an inspiration! You say the things that all Moms think, but most of us don't/can't articulate. Keep is good for your soul, good for others and one day these posts will be a blessing to the kids. They will learn alot about you and wil be touched by the depth of your love for them. I love you!

Grandpa Russ said...

How can I improve on what your mom said about you and your precious gift?

From the days of not wanting to babysit to an incredible mother of 5/6, it's been a remarkable journey.


Anonymous said...

I'm not in a position to see this web site correctly on my cellphone :(

Also visit my blog post: how to get pregnant fast